Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
