The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
