Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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