UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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