I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
