This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
