So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
