Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
