you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
