He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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