when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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