i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So squirting runs in the family.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize