they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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