Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
