first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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