i don't like sucking hair
we made out on top of his cat.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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