Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
