so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
