smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
