I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
