Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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