just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
