Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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