Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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