I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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