So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
