fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
