Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
