I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you never un-have a 4some
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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