I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
