epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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