I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
