We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I need a burrito and a hug.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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