went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
