Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
