halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
