I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
