The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
