Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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