I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
