I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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