it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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