so explain again why im purple
no
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
