Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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