I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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