why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
