Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
