I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
