I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
