I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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