Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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