Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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