I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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